This is the 107th song in the Key of Awesome series.

Description Edit

Zayn Malik is a serious artist now, and he’s not happy about it.

Lyrics Edit


It's part porn

Part true detective intro

Just went blonde

They have more fun, I've been told

And now I only have a first name

Just call me Zayn, Malik was lame

Now I'm like Sting, Hitler or Bono

I like all types of birds

As long as they're models

This girl weighs less than both her shoes

These boxing unicorns are making uniporn

Hey put some hearts on that girl's boobs

Now let's make dreary faces

Stick the footage in premiere, make everything looked smeared

Put a flower on her labia

Tattoo "lyrics" on her neck

Now here's some gibberish

Yabba dabba doo, babadook, Marmaduke

I can do what I want

No more 1D guys and raging hormones

She's a porcupine

This is a poor song

Pillow f*** is what I do when she's gone

F*** f*** f********!

Now I'm cool! I drop f-bombs

Why is my face so expressionless?

If I feel great or if I'm in pain

It stays the same, irreregardless

Blood's pouring from your eyes

You're probably hungry

Please let me make you some beef stew

Hey let's get out of this hell

Cause this sexy acid trip is making us feel sick

Let's go home and watch Seinfeld

It's on eight times a week and it still holds up

In the bed all day, watch TV endlessly

Eating crisps with some dips

Watching Family Guy, then gettin' our Friends on

You boxing unicorns can put your clothes on

And you can go home

I'm now the Justin guy

This is my end zone

Justin guy, Justin guy, Justin guy, Justin guy

End zone, end zone, end zone, end zone


Soon, very soon

*evil laughter*